[Growltigger]

Cue opening credits, sights of the TSSS Phong's Head shooting through space and even more heroic pictures of the intrepid crew of this galactic marvel...

The episode banner pops up onto the screen, "THE QUEST FOR S'KATCHOO's BRAIN"

Camera pans back to a space view of the TSSS Phong's Head. The camera zooms in through the viewport to the main bridge, where Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat is dictating a message to Starfleet about the recent battle with the Klingon cruiser

The TSSS Phong's Head is on a routine mission to monitor the methane clouds of Fart Point. All is calm and our brave, heroic and extremely sexy captain decides to have a cup of tea in his ready room. All is peaceful on the bridge of the TSSS Phong's Head, with all the crew happily getting on with their tasks, even the fey Mr S'Katchoo, who has recovered from his "Village People-esque" experiences with the minger crew and is busy at his science station...

The captain is happily imbibing his cup of tea, and looking at a well thumbed copy of the May "Hot Federation Babes"...He is astonished to look onto his view screen into the bridge when a beautiful young woman beams onto the bridge....

The Captain is staggered to see some fresh young blart on the ship, and rushes onto the bridge in, ahemm, anticipation of showing her his favourite holodeck programme involving the marmite, ball bearings, prohpylactic, swarfega and small labrador called Barney...

Without a word, the cute bird touches a band on her wrist and everyone is rendered unconscious, including our heroic captain.

A few minutes later, Captain Jean Luc awakes, as does Mr Power Man and the rest of the bridge crew.
"Hey, where has that wretched ponce Mr S'Katchoo gone, if he has stolen another shuttle craft and is doing his saturday night fever impression in a nebula somewhere, I swear I will phaser the bugger" shouts Jean Luc

"Doctor Geo to the Captain" squarks the intercom, "dammit, Captain, I'm a doctor not a cavity reconstruction specialist, get your furry backside down here to sickbay

The Captain goes rushing down to sickbay, Mr S'Katchoo's body lies on a diagnostic table, on full life support. Doctor Geo explains that his brain is gone ... miraculously removed with some technology that the doctor has never seen before. Every nerve was sealed and there was no blood lost.

However, Geo tells the Captain that the downside is that if the mincing tart's brain isn't returned to his body within 24 hours, Mr S'Katchoo will die...

Dammit Captain, I am a doctor, not a plot writer...

Hmmm thinks the Captain, S'Katchoo will snuff it if we dont get his brain back in 24 hours?? tempting, it is sooo tempting not to try it!

PS note to self, go down to ten forward and check that Taz/Guinan hasn't come up with a new meaty dip for the tribble wings

[ June 02, 2003, 18:10: Message edited by: Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat ]