[Growltigger]

Cue opening shots and credits for Bar Trek, pictures of the ship zooming around the galaxy etc

Captain Slog Stardate 08.34 GMT and I have just won £390 on a £5 betting for Karlovic to beat Hewitt at Wimbledon. I will be insufferably smug all day I feel.

It has been a stressful time aboard the TSSS Phong's Head. We have had to deal with our poor science officer losing his brain, and then having it restored and turning into a flesh eating zombie. I have signalled Starfleet to send me a fully qualified voodoo specialist in order to sort this out, but in the meantime, S'Katchoo is locked firmly in the brig.

Mr Power Man has done a cracking job clearing the Phong's Head of deadstar probes. We are now free and clear but it has all been stressful for the crew.

The away team are suffering post traumatic stress as well from the rigours of our away mission and even the bevy of willing and lovely beauties in the hold cannot cheers us up. We are also desparately low on booze, the only thing we seem to have left are bottles of Smirmoff Ice and some Watneys Red Barrel, and the chaps are reduced to drinking turbo shandys for their sins....

On a personal note, only the joyful and happy sounds of Mr Erax in the shower enjoying a soapy wash with a Gisella Bundchen clone are keeping my end up.

I have decided that we need R&R. There is a rather pleasant planet not far from here, very earth like and looking idyllic. A week there on the beach should be just the thing to cheer up the crew.

Mr Power Man, set your course to that nice looking planet, warp 8, make it so..

A few hours later, the Phong's Head orbits the rather pretty M class planet.

Mr Power Man, the crew will enjoy some R&R by rotation, naturally, all senior officers get first bash down there to, ahem, check out the local terrain and make sure it is safe for the rest of you. You get to go down in a week.

Tranporter room, beam me down to that idyllic looking tropical beach, beam down the harem of lovelies as well and make sure they have got their skimpy string bikini's on. Oh, and beam down some suncream oil, a large loofer and a deckchair.

Strange, but I dont know why I am constantly thinking of PVC wet look underwear?

[ June 24, 2003, 08:52: Message edited by: Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat ]