[Loser]

I used to dwell on High School, going over it in my mind again and again. I came to the conclusion that, if I had to opportunity to 'go back through' that period of my life know only one thing that I know now, I would want to know how little all the things I worried about ended up mattering.

Once, when I was out with some friends, this specific subject came up and a friend voiced the same opinion I had. I was about to comment on how eerie or meaningful that was when another fellow spoke up to say that he'd rather tell his younger self "Deal coke, not weed"... which completely sidetracked the conversation.

That said, I agree with what so many others here have said: the best step to getting out of depression is physical activity. It changes your chemistry and gives you strength on a variety of levels.

I have always been puzzled by how well others seem to understand each other, always under the impression that they expected a degree of communication in which I simply had no experience. The young lady I'm currently seeing has told me that I have no social sense, no intuitive understanding of others, no connection to the common mind. It is directly because of this that I am a very social person. I have strove to gain an intellectual, conscious awareness of body language, tone, and implications. I have elevated my social skill to the point that I am regarded as odd and amusing rather than frightening or repugnant. Yay.

I believe that the way I have developed would help anyone with any sort of social troubles and it is a simple solution: make people talk. If you are at any sort of gathering (family, social, religious, sacrilegious) and you notice that one person standing, sitting, walking (but not ever dancing) by themselves approach them and try to get them talking. Question their interests, question them about their interests, find out how strange and new things work, ask them about their political interests. The goal here is not to 'talk with' someone, but to get them talking. This will require you to respond on occasion, and to prod fairly frequently. Failure to speak with one of these wall flowers will have little to no consequences; success will result in a raised level of confidence, increase in conversational skill levels, and maybe a new friend or at least a friendly acquaintance.

Next move on to strangers. Pick people doing work that does not require their entire attention, so you have less of a chance of 'bothering' them. Retail floor personnel, street vendors, anyone who looks like their day could use a little more excitement is a good choice. Start with a blunt approach, so they know what you want: "Could I ask you a few questions?" Ask them about what they do, how they got there, if they went to school for it, how they track inventory.

By this time your conversational skill should have advanced to the point that you have a much easier time 'making friends'. Remember the key to being seen as a 'good conversationalist' is to make the other person feel like talking. People like it when someone want to hear what they have to say. Now you should read "How to Win Friends and Influence People", and American self-help book from the early twentieth century. It is targeted for sales personnel, so don't be surprised if some of it isn't exactly applicable, but it is a highly helpful book.

To work on more complicated conversational techniques, play games with strangers. Really this all started with a game: "Make the Stranger Talk".

One I like is "Name Tag Collection", where I try to talk complete strangers into giving me (or selling me) something insignificant but personal, like their name tag. This requires that the person is something of a captive; retail personnel and theme park employees are best really. This is also good practice at talking to girls: males react to this game as though I am threatening them in some way, while girls do not get threatened for some time. Also, since you are laying out your goal immediately, they don't spend as much time wondering what your really after, not right away, anyway. Don't study them before you approach them, as this will give them time to notice you and start wondering, worrying, or calling security (just kidding), just walk up and ask "May I ask you a question? Would you get in trouble if you lost your name tag?"

Another good one is "Get a job". Go into a place of business and ask if they are hiring. You don't really want to work there, you're just doing this for the experience (but don't' tell them that). Ask them what they do, what the hours are like, but don't ask about pay. If they offer you an application, take it, just to keep the game going. Your goal here is to get an interview right away, so ask if there's a manager there to speak with. Now take the interview like you need the job. The great part is that you don't, you don't care. This puts you in a position of power that the interviewer won't be expecting and is great fun. It will also help you develop good interviewing skills, as you're never as secure or ready to learn when you're in the middle of a stressed-up for-real interview.

A good game to help you with inhibitions is "Sing First, Then Sell". When a telemarketer, surveyor, or charity calls on the phone, tell them that you will listen to their spiel, but only after they sing with you. The two of you will have to have a few songs in common for this to work. IF they don't immediately agree (and they never do), talk about what song you could use for a minute. Since they're still not quite ready to sing with you, tell them you'll listen if they join in on the chorus and just start singing. You don't have to know all the words or even have the melody quite right. In fact, if more fun when you aren't singing the song right.

Then pick the areas you want to work on, make up your own games, and stat adding a moment of sureality to some strangers world.

I don't' know if this will help you but I encourage you to give it a try. Talking with people who you will never see again is easy because it won't matter if you screw up, what're they going to do?