Taera, I hear you.
Pity has a connotation of condescension. That the person is not quite right. That he is defective in some way.
But none of us are perfect beings. And if one of us were perfect, what is he doing here?
My feeling is we are on this earth to learn something. What each of us need to learn is different for each individual.
I also believe we visit this realm numerous times. Sometimes as a male and sometimes as a female. I may be Jewish in one life, Christian in another and an agnostic in the third. Or something else.
Is it true? I don't know. I certainly cannot prove it. But to my mind it is just as valid as the Christian belief that we have one life and either end up in Hell or sitting on the right hand of God himself. For Christians cannot prove the validity of that belief however much they may point to the Bible.
If you have taken philosophy, you know you can neither prove the existance of God or disprove his existance. So it all comes down to faith.
People often ask me if I am religious. My answer is no as I do not adhere to any religion. I feel all religions have something to teach us.
But I do believe in God/higher power/greater being etc. I believe in the brotherhood of man. And one of the many lessons we need to learn is how to be compassionate to others who have fallen upon hard times.
Still wanting to put me into some sort of Category, they ask or state "You are spiritual". I answer "Yes", but that does not in any way make me special for I believe we are all spiritual beings temporarily cloathed in flesh.
And I hear you about fanaticism. At the risk of offending Christians, I belief Christ was able to convey only a little of what he knew/discovered. Like a child who could not understand Calculus if we tried to explain it to him, we are like children with the mysteries of the universe.
So you are wise to be skeptical of fanaticism. It can be a trap, since fanaticism implies an intolerance of other beliefs.
But lot of people are drawn to it as it overlays the uncertainties we feel in life and can give a feeling of security in an insecure world.