[Growltigger]

Growltigga, listening to the sounds of giggling and occasionally snorting from the pool room upstairs, tries to work out why Dogscoff has a thing about genetically enhanced super-squid with Celtic names.

Sheesh, couldn't he have named it "Stavros" in honour of the Greek theme. and hey, I guess calamari is on the menu tonight, anyone got anyone lemons, cornflour and an 800 foot wide frying pan?

OK, we have yodelling lovelies, kamikaze regulars sticking their heads in the fishtanks, we need some satyrs, centaurs, horses, vestal virgins, funny little bald fat men in togas making philosophical statements, plate throwing, dodgy resinated wine, chariot races, nude nymphs disporting themselves everywhere, really dodgy food, funny dancing and mad bazouki players...

OK, got all that...

Let's find out what was so mysterious about those Elysian mysteries!