[Loser]

Originally posted by General Woundwort:
I never knew that I knew so many African finance ministers - no less than three have attempted to contact me this week.

If you have time, you could write them back.

Tell them you are in prison and unlikely to get a bank account any time soon, but that you are lonely and wonder what things are like in Africa.

Tell him about your strange ideas for the differences between the races. These can range from childlike to hateful to pseudo-scientific.

Tell them about how your wife/mother/old sister rules your life and how, if they can just teach you how to stand up to her/them, you'll do anything you can to help them.

Take random copy-pastes from the strangest blogs you can find and reformat them so that they might seem like an actual e-mail address to them.

Copy-paste from the Gutenberg project. You can send them Melville, the Devine Comedy, or just large amounts of gees, tees, cees, and ays.

Now do this with telemarketers.