[Wardad]

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I asked, "Implants?" She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

7. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and sh**head's.

8. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

9. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

10. Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What I do today, will probably burn my butt tomorrow

[ June 08, 2004, 02:05: Message edited by: Wardad ]