[Loser]

Amusingly the Soviets, right at the end, had the capacity to get a man to Mars. The Energia rocket, biggest rocket in the world, has a huge potential for lift. With all six booster rockets it could easily lift the top Apollo stages high enough for the trans-lunar burn. I do not remember the exact details, but I believe it was also capable of getting something like fifteen tons to Mars. That's enough to get a brave hero to Mars. He isn't coming home for a while, but he can get there, maybe walk around for a little while, claim a great victory for the motherland, and take a happy-sleepy pill.

This is not as unlikely as you might think, either. These men, and women, have just about anyone else beat for pure daring-to. Read about cosmonauts some time, incredible humans with incredible accomplishments.