Books, eh?
"Then, following his success proving the nonexistence of God, Man went on to prove that black is white, and promptly got run over at the next zebra crossing." - The Hitckhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
"Three... Two... What, no, I would not like any coffee, I am a bomb and I don't drink coffee, now, oh drat, where was I? I lost count, guess I'll have to start all over again!" - Starship Titanic, Douglas Adams