Re: WindowsXP + Space Empires IV = No Working TCP/IP play
Make sure all ports on the firewalls are opened properly. You do have the latest patch of the game installed, right? Try running Windows update to get the latest fixes for XP.
Try setting the firewall to act as a DMC server (or whatever it is called... I forget). The one where it essentially makes the comp "exist outside of the firewall" in non-technical terms.
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