Ok... try to think of the military as the military, not as the faces of the soldiers themselves. The soldiers make up the forces of the military, but not the ideal of the military, nor the decisions of the military, nor the overall purpose and goals of the military, etc. Just looking at the specific people in the military is looking at it from the bottom (the people) up (the abstract nature). It is focusing not on the military itself, but on people. Looking from the top down is instead focusing on the military itself. It is directly akin to saying that the tech supporters and the programmers working for Microsoft are evil people because Microsoft has some evil business practices. The people working those jobs do not necessarily represent or embody what is done with their skills overall by the company (and its top level executives). It is looking at the issue from the wrong angle.
As for your definition of military, it is most certainly not the definitions on m-w.com.
Quote:
1 a : of or relating to soldiers, arms, or war b : of or relating to armed forces; especially : of or relating to ground or sometimes ground and air forces as opposed to naval forces
2 a : performed or made by armed forces b : supported by armed force
3 : of or relating to the army
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Even from these partial definitions, it can be seen that "military" does not necessarily mean "the soldiers in the army."