Basically we are just trying to come up with a way to eliminate the overwhelming effects the map can have in a short game. In a game with more people, having a crappy start isn't necesarily the kiss of death. You can play the diplomacy thing and maybe find a way out of your situation. Even if it's hopeless, hanging around can be interesting. Role playing, or just trying to have an impact in what happens, even if you can't win, are perfectly legitimate objectives. But in a 1v1 game, it's all about killing the other guy as fast as you can.
If he's only got 3 or 4 usable planets within colony ship range from his homeworld, while you've got 30 (That sounds like a drastic difference, but I have seen it in real games) it's not really much fun for the loser, or the winner. Yeah, you could say that's part of the game and the luck of the draw and all. But if that's the case you might as well not play the game and just flip a coin to see who wins.
A balanced map won't be for everybody. Even in 1v1 games probably noone will use it all the time and some may not want to use it ever. But there's a place for it. You could make random maps and edit with starting placement, but it's kind of druge work honestly. And even then you might not look careful at the planets in each persons area, and still be giving a big advantage to one or the other.
It's like stock car racing. In theory, all the cars are equal. (They aren't really, but enough so that the differences aren't drastic.) They all run on the same track. It all comes down to the strategy and execution of the driver and the crew on race day to keep it on the track and ahead of the other cars.