[Atrocities]

What can any one say to someone who has depression. It is the loneliest trip down memory lane that one can take. It is a mind virus, soul killing, life sucking, reality twisting parasite that leaves you feeling empty and beaten. It is the loniest feeling any one person could ever endure. I found this following statement one day on forum by a member fighting depression, and it think he does a nice job summing up how it effected him. The sad thing is, most people who are depressed feel this way daily and I am no exception. But life does go on if we take it one day at a time.

I wish God didn't hate me so much. I have been so alone my entire life that all I now have is the desire to end it. Death is my only reprieve from this desperate despair that fills me so. The black hole that is my sole pulls on all the happy feelings like a gravity well pulls in light, leaving only the sad, lonely, helpless feelings of being the only man left standing on the battle field of dead memories and lost opportunities.

The one thing about depression is that it is an illness and all of its victims experience the same emotional symptoms. I think that is why so many employers and doctors are so supportive of people with depression. It really is like a virus that just eats away at you until you want to live no more and start making some very poor decisions about which end of the gun is pointed at you.

"No one understands, no ever will."
"I hate life, why bother living."
"I just want to die, death is my only hope for peace."
"No one loves me, I am alone."
"Nothing matters, it all is for not."
"We are all going to die so why live on?"
"I know how the story ends so why continue reading the book."

I have heard all of these and have even asked some of them myself. I have no answers for any of them. Each person must ultimately fight depression in their own way. Knowing it is an illness that has infected your mind helps me to fight it. No one knows why it comes, why the despair is so deep that it hurts at your very core, deep deep down inside, as if your heart itself could feel sorrow and is crying out in pain. Or when you’re asleep and your mind cries so powerfully that you wake up in tears with the deepest sadness that you have ever felt in your life. A sadness so deep that it feels as if every fiber of your being cried out "why" all at once. A moan of despair that comes from some place deep inside of your soul, announcing its own death or hibernation so to speak that leaves you with an empty feeling which words lack the ability to describe.

It hurts on so many levels that death becomes more and more palatable. But again that is how the disease kills, it makes you kill yourself. If you know this, then you can fight it. You can fight it, and any one with this curse should fight it.

To give in is to say that you truly have nothing to live for, or that your sadness has no end. For those few I can only sympathies with for they are, truly alone.

Don't let depression kill you, its not worthy enough.

[ May 22, 2004, 18:13: Message edited by: Atrocities ]