Yeah, drinking doesn't help. It might seem like it does, but it doesn't.
Memory, the knowlege that you have wronged or been wrong, is the Adamic Burden. It is this knowlege of Good and Evil, of Right and Wrong, and the ability to apply it to our own lives that makes us something more than animals, and it is our suspension in time, uncertain of the furture and chained to an unchangeable past, that makes us a something less than the angles.
It's not a bad rub or an unfair deal, it is simply that which makes us what we are.
The more we dwell on any one memory, the closer we hold it and its consequences to ourselves, the more powerfull it is made to be, the more difficult it will be to escape it. If a grudge weighs heavily on you, do your best not to think of it. You cannot simply deny that it is there, so you must keep your mind and your hands busy.
Pursue activities that engage the mind, or that require such total concenrtation that you cannot think of anything else. As much as possible, keep you mind filled with other things or empty on the cusp of reaction required in 'twitch' games and physical activities of agility.
Most improtantly, decide to forgive. When you are willing to do so, and when enough time has passed without the pain being renforced on a daily basis, you will be able to release those who have wronged you from any burden.
Sometimes one thing that helps me is to see the person against which I would hold a grudge as helpless and incapable. This contempt, this denial of their accountability makes it easier to pitty and condescend agianst them, rather than hate them.
This is just an intermidiate step, of course. You want to forgive them entirely, not make excuses for them. Sometimes we need those baby steps, though.
Quote:
Originally posted by Renegade 13:
Emotional pain...is the worst thing any man or woman can experience.
|
There are worse things. There are physical pains that hurt worse than the closest betrayal. Most of us never have to deal with them.
[edit: tesco's advice is great, espeically #4
what happened to the domokun?]
[ July 16, 2004, 05:11: Message edited by: Loser ]