[Suicide Junkie]

When I first saw Mr Parker's Posts, I took him for a old cranky newbie, and didn't think too much of it...

After the Posts about removing all the OT threads started building up, I went to say something to him.
Only then, on the way to the PM button, did I notice his post count...
Such a discrepancy made me look around a bit, and at the sight of "Advisor", my first thought was "Oh, $#!^, they're actually going to do it."

*cue flashback to planet of the apes*

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Even the hardest newbie questions answered in 30 minutes or less, guaranteed?
You can't even get a pizza delivered that fast these days.
Back in the early days of Gold when they were coming out of the woodwork, you'd have 5 responses in the first 10 minutes, and if you had to race through your typing to get the first reply.
180 seconds was pretty common for the first reply, though some short questions managed to get answered in less than a minute, forum time.

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I'm one of the few who can say he's been here in two millenia, and I hope to remain here forever in paradise.