[dogscoff]

have had some truely challenging tactical battles so I honestly don't get why so many people say it's cheesy...

Well, it's challenging when you're up against a superior force, but tactical against an technically and numerically equivalent AI opponent is absurdly easy.

I've taken down fleets of cruisers with just a few frigates before now.

what specifically are the difference's in say strategic combat in simul games & strategic combat in turn based games?

I don't think there's any real difference, strategic combat is strategic combat. The differences are outside of combat, when moving ships around on the system map. Other orders, like stellar manip and cloaking are also stacked up rather than executed immediately, which makes things more difficult.

Launching/recovering satellites, mines, fighters and drones in simul games is a real bind as well.

However, i think it's fair to say that simultaneous play is what the game engine and the AIs were designed around, so it does make the game flow more logically.