[Saxon]

Tigga,

I am so upset. Here I am, simply trying to make your life a happier place. I thought painting a giant G on the Shreck-like bald spot would give you a G Spot, thereby lifting your bedroom antics to new levels of enjoyment. Oh well, I knew that I should have just kept my humanitarian impulses to myself.

As you say, the kissing of Gnu’s is nothing new to me, but given the high level of interest, I will endeavor to get a photo for web distribution. Hopefully this will dispel your foul rumors of my sexual inactivity.

Tesco,

The Moose in Canada is a bit unlike the Tiger in Africa. As Tigga will be happy to tell you, my very being is so offensive to Tigers, that they have all left and gone to Asia. We are left with lions, leopards and house cats. I hope that I can match this situation in the game.

Have you heard about the Queen’s visit in ’67? Some bright spark in External Affairs thought it would be nice to present the Queen with two live beavers. Technically, the tax on Canada, per year, is two beaver pelts, so they thought it would be fun. Anyway, the beavers are in a cage and during the presentation, the Queen asks, “My, what are they doing?” Imagine the fun that the Prime Minister had answering that question, as it was a male and a female in the cage.