[dogscoff]

Yes I would but then feline spit contains various chemicals which condition and clean our coats - I suppose a catty equivalent of "Wash 'n' Go" or teatree oil or something.

Maybe, but I still wouldn't want lick my feet clean having spent the entire day running around a field disembowling mice.

What we dont do is roll in a cowpat and think that makes us smell wonderful like your average mutt does

That's actually a primitive but effective form of cloaking device - it can fool herbivorous scent scanner components up to tech level III.

- they also eat poo

I think you have been reading some rather unpleasant (not to mention juvenile) anti-dog propaganda. It's rabbits that eat poo. Dogs just sniff it, to see if it has any cloaking potential.

The fact that you are even trying says quite a lot about you

You deny it, but I bet you've tried...