[Atrocities]

THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN BEFORE
I WENT OUT INTO THE REAL WORLD......

Any and all compliments can be handled
by simply saying "Thank you."

Some people are working backstage, some
are playing in the orchestra, some are on-
stage singing, some are in the audience as
critics and some are there to applaud.
Know who and where you are.

Never give yourself a haircut after three
margaritas.

When baking, follow directions.
When cooking, go by your own taste.

Never continue dating anyone who is
rude to the waiter.

Never refuse a breath mint when offered.

You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct
tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use
WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only
the other person.

The five most essential words for a healthy,
vital relationship: "I apologize" and
"You are right".

Everyone seems normal until you get to
know them.

When you make a mistake, make amends
immediately. It's easier to eat crow while
it's still warm.

I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself,
Will this matter one year from now? How
about one month? One week? One day?

If you woke up breathing, congratulations!
You have another chance!

Living as well as you can really is the best
revenge. Being miserable because of a bad
or former relationship just proves that the
other person was right about you.

Work is good but it's not that important.

Never underestimate the kindness of your
fellow man.

And finally... Being happy doesn't mean
everything's perfect, it just means you've
decided to see beyond the imperfections.