[Growltigga]

Warpz. A trendy bar in the centre of town with loud music and expensive drinks. Lively, with a good selection of cocktails. Their infamous "Vodka Warp Point Wobbler" is to die for. Literally.

Nice, sounds like the sort of bar I would hang out in as these bars are normally wall to wall with blart

The Colony. An ecclectic Soho lounge bar serving a wide variety of high quality drinks and vaxin finger foods. Live jazz four days a week and occasional poetry readings.

Hmmmm... sounds a bit pretentious to me and I do not think that the composite avewrage IQ of the regulars is up to this sort of eclectic establishment

The EEE and whistle. Situated on the outskirts of town, The Whistle Serves good family food and home-cooked ambient wavelengths from 11 'til late. Some excellent Belgian lagers available in the summer.

I am not sure about this.. home cooked family food normally means burnt baked beans on toast or undercooked Sunday roasts or that horrible damn thing called meatloaf Amercians like so much (what is a potroast anyway?) - possibly a good place for a cheeky half in the summer once the hoegaarden (grand cru of course) is available

Madame Oogl's Tentacle House. Popular and (ahem) highly accomodating establishment in the red light district of the Cue Cappa quarter. Not much in the way of beer, but the whiskies are satisfactory and the service is extremely stimulating.

Ooh, sounds naughty - I thought this was meant to be a family post!!

The Bifrost Lodge. Traditional Space Valkyrie longhouse hotel, with friendly service and a family atmosphere. Proprietress Mad Helga the Decapitator will make you feel right at home. Some fantastic home-brewed meads, and an outdoor cat-roast on Thursdays if the weather's good.

Sounds like your fantasy to me