One way of telling a wanna-be from a veterans is to
hear him talk about 'overpowered strategies'. This is a
sure sign that you are looking at a wannabe.
The veteran would either know a counter to the strategy,
or pretend that he does, so that he does not appear wimpy.
Now, if you need a way to tell a veteran from a fraud, I
cannot help you there.
As for the ones that you listed, they all have trade-offs.
The Vampire Queen is an very effective indy killer that can
take gambles inside her domain. It is a very safe choice
for a newbie, and it is a very good choice for someone who
intends to sacrifice early readiness for late game power.
After the recent nerf, the VQ is still a viable choice, but
in my opinion, not an optimal one. Her price is so high now
that pretenders like the Allfather, the ghost king, Natajara
and even the often overlooked Virtue are often a better
choice. I would not dream of playing a VQ with anything
but Caelum or Abysya.
The clams are a very sound investment, but they take a long
time to assume a major place in a nation's arsenal. By the
time they start truely matter, a good opponent would have
developed other weapons, no less powerful.
Madcastling is a strategy just like any other. A castle is
the only realistic way to protect a temple against a raiding
force, and by turn 20, everyone should be able to field
raiders that can easily overwhelm 11-21 PDs. Castles cost
money, and unless you pay a lot of design point for a wizard
tower, easy to build castles are not good for anything but
delay the destruction of your temple for one turn.