[PashaDawg]

Beep Beep Beep Beep…. This is MACHAKA NATIONAL NEWS…. Beep Beep Beep Beep <typewriters heard in the background>

This just in from the front lines of the Pangean War of Aggression.

A huge undead army in excess of 300 fetid scum has stormed the walls of the Machaka Capitol. The front gates were torn down easily, and it is anticipated that by the time of this report, the undead beasts will be throwing themselves against the BRAVE MACHAKA WARRIORS. The wise voodoo priests are doing their best at banishing the undead hoard by the bucket-fulls and the keen witch doctors are valiantly unraveling the magic ties binding the undead monsters together. Holy Fires are also being employed in haste to burn mindless creatures before they get far into the walls of the capitol city.

This reporter fears that this battle will break the back of the GREAT MACHAKA PEOPLE who have fought so bravely to withstand the undead tidal wave long enough so that the other great dominions of the world could prepare their defenses.

Luckily, THE GREAT SPIDER LORD was reportedly able to escape the city in the nick of time to give his people some lingering hope. Unfortunately, he was unable to comment on the war for this report due to an abundance of froth sputtering out of his mouth. But, BOY, did he look mad!!