[dogscoff]

I'm on a roll now...

********************

Shreekep's light cruiser crackled with fireworks as a second salvo of depleted uranium shells fired off toward the Xiati. Two of the alien ships had been destroyed already, and the remainder were frantically trying to regroup. Some of them returned fire, but it was clear they simply weren't hitting the KanesS ships hard enough. Shreekep fired again, rolling steadily toward the disorganised Xiati cluster. A jagged black explorer rocked with each hit, and a cloud of vented gasses hissed noisily from the hull.
"Captain Mxzz'kt'pl'k. We've been hit!" Screamed the tactical officer. "I can't get power to the engines, and they're coming in to ram us!"
The ageing escort was unarmed, and had only been included in the fleet because its long-range supply storage meant it could carry extra fuel for the warships. Without its engines it was helpless. Just then the ship shuddered again as one of its compatriots, glowing with damage, collided with the explorer as a result of a desperate evasive maneuver. Plates fell from both hulls, and the two craft trundled uncertainly apart at an oblique angle, the warship finally slowing to a near-halt and overturning loudly.
The Xiati captain picked himself off the floor, and his eyes flashed with fear. "That's not a ramming course. They're going to board us."
Suited KanesS boarders were already working to violate the explorer's stricken hull, and their equipment made hideous noises as it cut its way through. Hearing this, the tac officer looked up to his captain with terror written plainly across his face. "What will we do, Captain Mzz'imx'plxi't'x? Whatever will we do?"
The Captain looked down at his subordinate and gripped his rifle tightly. "By my implants, there's only one thing we can do, M'thr'plthr'xplxplxplxplxrthmx." He replied, sternly. "There is only one course of action now." he turned his dusky face away from the cringing tac officer, and gazed heroicly into nothingness. "We must baste ourselves in sauce and panic!" At that he threw himself on the floor, screeching and thrashing his tail until some of his less securely-fastened cybernetic implants flew off and skittered across the bridge, while the tac officer and the rest of the bridge crew burst simultaneously into song.

The audience loved it. No-one had ever attempted to depict a space battle on stage before, and the story of the Xiati invasion was a massive success. Most viewers agreed that the unconvincing Xiati costumes only added to the charm, as did the rickety, wheeled 'starships' that rolled about the stage and were certain to either fall apart before the end of each performance, or catch fire from their own pyrotechnics. Misk-weed was distributed to each audience before the performance, which was always indicative of a good, gory show. The KanesS digestive system can handle most things, vegetables included, and although they are generally scornful of any kind of salad they tend to make an exception for misk-weed. They find it tasty, filling and mildly sedative, and theatres discovered long ago that this is an ideal combination of properties for an in-show snack whenever the content of the performance is likely to spontaneously provoke a murderous feeding-frenzy. Too many good actors, staff and paying customers had been lost to theatre-wide orgies of mutual digestion*.

Despite the obvious liberties taken in the portrayal of the Xiati protagonists, the show was more or less accurate in the depiction of Kleesh's incursion into Xiati space. The eight fighters left from the first battle of Pruli were quickly destroyed by the new, sensor-equipped pirate vessels, and the fleet crossed the warp point into the desolate Marak system. There it discovered a small fleet of escorts and tore into them with passionate ferocity. The attackers suffered some damage, but no losses, and captured five enemy ships. The fleet's repair ships quickly restored their own vessels to full functionality, and most of the damage to the captured ships was retored, although their alien weapons and shield remained beyond the skills of the KanesS technicians. One of the prize ships was sent back to KanesS space to spread the news of the victory. It was then refit as an explorer and sent to investigate some of the northern systems as yet unknown to the KanesS. Three of the other ships- a single explorer and two damaged warships- were left behind to keep an eye on Marak while fifth ship joined the main fleet and crossed one of Marak's other two warp points into the Nihal system. Three occupied worlds awaited them, and none had any defences beyond a smattering of puny fighters. The twin troop transports simultaneously unloaded KanesS warriors by the thousand onto the first two worlds, and the terrified Xiati put up little resistance. They seemed to be resigned to their fate- almost as if they known it was coming. Those that did fight, invaribly fought to the death, always saving an explosive charge for themselves in orderto deny the KanesS their flesh. However most of them committed suicide immediately, having learned the fate of Pruli's colonists. All across the system, families locked themselves in their homes and burned, as- in a bizarre twist of circumstance- the KanesS occupiers risked their lives to put out the fires and save the Xiati occupants, who were the chief assets of the captured colonies.

For the invasion of the third colony- a sparsely populated moon- Kleesh ordered a different approach. A small, covert landing force managed to locate a few prominent Xiati- a local politician, a reporter, a few others- who were willing and able to pacify the locals with stories of an impending counter-attack. They advised all Xiati to stay in their homes and await rescue, while the collaborators were given a small ship and allowed to escape the system as promised. After all, if co-operation isn't seen to be rewarded, it will not be forthcoming in the future. By now the KanesS invasion fleets had learned enough about Xiati biology and cybernetics to flood the small dome with a powerful anesthetic gas. When the unfortunate prisoners awoke, they were tied, caged or otherwise prevented from harming themselves. News was sent back home, and the colonisation offices began to fill with hungry adventurers once more.

Meanwhile, the three-ship picket left in Marak reported a large fleet heading toward the Nihal warp point. The fleet had appeared at Marak's third warp-point, which was thought to exit upon the heavily-mined Xiati home-system. This fleet consisted of several carriers, numerous escorts and some ships that outmassed even the buccaneer light cruisers favoured by the likes of Shreekep. News of this new threat was received apprehensively by the fleet, but it was eventually decided that with the advantage of getting the first shot in at the warp point, they had the power to defeat even this fleet. Besides, they had assets to defend, and those assets provided them with a new and unexpected advantage. As well as extensive fleet support facilities- including resupply, repair and even training faculties- they had captured something new and very interesting with the Nihal system. Just how it worked was unclear, and whether it could be trusted or not was another question altogether, but it appeared to be able to provide information about events that hadn't actually happened yet. The expedition included numerous engineers, but no researchers, and Kleesh was determined to learn to use this thing before the Xiati relief force arrived. In the end, they managed to find a number of knowledgeable Xiati amongst the surviving colonists, who were immediately offered a choice between slavery and the fate they knew awaited them otherwise. Of those that chose slavery, a few didn't use it as an opportunity to commit suicide, attack the KanesS or attempt escape, and those few eventually got the thing working. Kleesh began studying the predictions from various fleet-engagement scenarios. It was more or less conclusive: They would crush the Xiati fleet the moment it arrived.

FOOTNOTES:

* Any readers who happen to be members of heavy metal bands are welcome to use the phrase "orgies of mutual digestion" as an album title.