[Cainehill]

Maybe a sliding scale might satisfy both points of view. 5 gold for the first ... 5 pretender points, 4 for the next 5, scaling down to 0.

That way, you'd get ... 75 gold for 25 pretender points wasted. Noticeable, but not terribly game-altering.

You might still lose some pretender points, but it's most often possible to come within 25 points (via castles, dominion, etc) - I know I jigger things so I rarely lose a full 30 or more. The sole real exceptions are for pretenders with obscene path costs (like 80), where you've chosen a national theme and can't see "upgrading" to the 100 citadel with its 600 gold cost and 4 turn build time, or you're based on the watchtower and can't afford going to a 40 pointer.