[Renegade 13]

Well, first of all, I'm sorry to see you suffering due to SEIV. If it truely is causing you pain, making you lose sleep, then it really isn't worth it. Quit, or at least take some time off. I do honestly hope you'll be back in the future, because we need more honest, decent and quality players in PBW.

There has been much said about backstabbing, and whether or not it reflects upon the personality of the player outside of the game. I think it does not. If I am in a position where I must attack an ally, or die, I will attack the ally. Its simply survival, and does not reflect upon my personality. I'm usually a nice guy. Okay, so you may say that if it were a matter of life or death to me in real life, would I kill a friend of mine. To that I say definitly no. That is the difference between a GAME and REAL LIFE. In a game where the object is to win, you can expect everyone else to be wanting to win. After all, no one likes to lose. However, no one wants to be backstabbed either. For as much as we all know its just a game, it hurts when we are stabbed in the back. Its happened to me many a time, but I do not take it personally, or as a reflection upon the personality of the person who stabbed me in the back. Its just a game.

Personally, I will make allies, and if need be, I will break my alliance with them. However, I always try to remember to break the treaty a few turns in advance of my attack, to give the other player a chance, and to even up the playing field a little bit. It makes it less of a stab in the back if you warn the other player, and give him time to prepare. I sincerely hope that when I play the game, people don't take it personally when I attack them. I have nothing against them, but its just a game! You can't let it take over your life, and worry about it. Because at the end of the day, it has very little bearing on your real life, and does not really affect your personality. It is relatively speaking, unimportant.

With all the said, I'll tell you that I do play to win. But I have a good time playing in multiplayer games when I'm not winning, or even losing. Take for instance the NGC4 game. I'm in something like 9th or 10th place, out of a remaining 15 empires. There are many people larger than me, but there's also some empires who are a fair bit smaller than me. However, I will not attack those smaller empires, or attack anyone without at the very least giving them some warning. Also, I play to survive, not to conquer the galaxy. Again in the NGC4 game, I'm small, but I'm happy. I don't really bug anyone else, I stay out of the major wars, I am content to leave everyone else alone as long as they leave me alone. Does this make me easy prey? Probably. Do I care? No. Its just a game.

So to sum it all up, if you are worrying too much about the game, don't play. Also, don't take it personally when someone backstabs you, as it usually isn't a reflection upon their personality. And for the Last point, backstabbing is a part of the game, and if you have to do it, then go ahead and do it. It may not be pleasant, but its as much a part of the game, as breathing is a part of life. Do what makes you happy, and even if you lose, like I do most of the time, as long as you are happy, you have succeeded and the game has served its purpose; as a method to acheive enjoyment, and satisfaction, not lost sleep and agony.