BECOME a geek.
Find yourself a community of linux Users willing to answer your questions. Install their preferred distro. Ask away. The n00b-friendly (ones that have graphical installs) distros of linux are quite easy to get up and running to the point where you have network access, and from there you can fire up a browser and point it to your forum and ask away.
Supposedly, the Gentoo community is known for being very helpful. Also, Gentoo is a LiveCD installation. Thus, during the installation process (which is long and involved) you can be using links (or lynx) to view the installation guide.
You can even start up an SSH server, and let someone in to configure it for you, though that would defeate the purpose: you learn quite a bit, doing a Gentoo install, as compared to zip, when doing a Red Hat/Suse install.
If you have multiple computers, and a network, it becomes even easier. Trouble? Use your other comp to find a solution.