[Sedna]

Turn 7, R'lyeh

Now that's annoying. There I was, settling in for my afternoon lurk in this nice, cozy cave I had found, all full of beautiful little tentacled things, brightly colored fish with lots of eyes, and the cutest little sea horse civilization I've ever seen. They were having some kind of group meeting that seemed to involve choosing who was going to be their leader for that week, and they just got the nicest looks of pain and shock on their face when I ate them all. And, mmmmm, were they tasty... well, anyhow, there was no call for them to also be mildly poisonous. I mean really... what were they thinking, mutating into existence this close to *my* crater, and then going and giving me indigestion?

But the next thing I know, I'm waking up with a splitting headache, and several months have passed, and my minions haven't even succeeded in enslaving one little province for me. Not one. They'll have to go. All of them.

I was about to get to devouring them (got to have standards), when I saw my old friend Cthugul! I haven't seen him in, well, aeons. And here he is, trying to summon up dark and forboding creatures to spread the word about my return. I was so touched that I forgot about slaughtering everyone, and instead sent them off to conquer new lands. I mean, it's a bit of a waste, letting other critters eat them, but you should've seen the look of relief on their faces when I told them I was merely sending them out to the sharks.

Besides, I'm still a bit full.