[The Panther]

"Sir! Sir!"
"What now?"
"These new proclamations from our enemies!"
"Yeah, I saw them. Have you converted the one from Ulm into English yet?"
"Um, it IS in English, sir!"
"I don't think so, for it makes absolutely no sense. One more heretofore henceforth or He Hath and I just might scream!"
"That would not be wise sir, for the chicken pen has not been covered up. Your scream might kill them."
"Would it kill you?"
"Um, no sir."
"Darn!"

"Anyway, my dear provost, how can Ulm issue proclamations that are false?"
"Well, it seems that if you put a bunch of nonsense together and sound all high and mighty, people will believe you."
"So, do we have our own proclamation ready like I asked to counter this slander?"
"Yes sir, and we are just waiting for your final approval, sir."
"I see. Finally you are doing something right."
"I will also point out a very important thing about this so-called Declaration of Digust from Ulm, sir."
"And?"
"And their Minister of War did not sign it. We think he has been beheaded for the huge mistake of invading our beloved homeland. Since the war is going so poorly for them, we believe that the Pretender God Pasha was most displeased with the boneheaded advice of the Minister of War."
"Has Pasha sued for peace yet?"
"No, and we believe he will not do so either. So, what are we to do with the Ulm capitol, now that our armies seige it?"
"Take it."
"Very good, sir, very good. And if Ulm wants peace?"
"We may discuss terms AFTER we own his capitol, not before."
"Yes sir."

"Now, what about this message from the giants?"
"Well, sir, that message was deemed fairly accurate. We have been keeping their children AND their soldiers awake with that horror dream. You were most correct when you told me that the lightning bolts were not useful against giants. But this latest spell seems to work just fine against those nasty creatures."
"Ha! They too will rue the day they invaded my sacred homeland!"
"Yes sir, I believe they already do!"
"And what was that thing about our Seraphs for babysitting duties?"
"Um, we will ignore it."
"Right answer! You CAN be taught!"
"Thank you, sir, I think."

"Good. Now about that third nation that invaded us long ago, Arcosoblat or whatever the heck they call themselves. What about them? The war does seem to be going quite well for us down south."
"It is, sir, it is! We have taken everything but their capitol now. We will soon seige and take that too. And we have killed that false pretender twice now."
"Great, so he must be gone forever, just like the false Gods of Ermor and Vanheim?"
"Um, no sir. Garuda is back. It seems that those priestesses persist in calling him back from the dead."
"Darn it, I knew that was going to happen. At least he has all those afflictions we put on him in that Last glorious battle!"
"Um, no. Those same priestesses seem to have healed him. They know an odd spell called healing."
"Well, why don't we learn that same spell then? We need that to heal the injuries of my poor prophet queen that those nasty Ulm knights inflicted!"
"Um, we are working on it, but it seems to be a unique thing for these Arco types."
"Darn it all, and with all I pay to your university! Find me an answer!"
"Yes sir."
"Very well, then. Let's get this proclamation posted."
"Aye, aye, sir. Here it is."

The Proclamation of Mighty Defense:
Let it be known to all false pretenders that any nation which invades the fine country of Caelum like first Arcoswhatever, then Jontunheim, and finally Ulm hath done, such nations shall be burned to the ground! We will show no mercy. We will be eventually be eliminating those three nations from existence, whenever we decide to do so. Let this be a lesson to all false gods in the fine land of Inland!"

/s His Highness Most Holy, to be feared above all else,
Panther of Caelum.


"I like it, I like it!"
"I knew you would, sir!"