[Possum]

Heh, golf-prez, seriously. I have great respect and regard for you as an opponent. I'm only talking smack because you started it with that business about parading my dead body through the streets of your capital.

Try to see it from our point of view. There we were, happy, stupid, ignorant little monkeys. Lounging lazily in the sun, with nothing more important on our agenda than food, sex, picking fleas, and a long nap.

Then this big black obelisk dropped out of the sky and sang to us. And we began to change...

So we learned to build these ships, and wandered off among the stars. We found a new sun or two, and founded a few colonies. We were still happy monkeys.

Then, to the south, we met these cows. We weren't sure about them, they were so different, so we had a little parley with them, and agreed to just stay away from each other.

Then, in the far east, disaster struck, and the innocence of our racial childhood was torn away from us forever more.

Suddenly, a large fleet of ships appeared in the Dornot system, crewed by big, ugly, stinky, mean, red-skinned lizard creatures. And they attacked us, cruelly and without warning. Shredding our few small ships, they destroyed our new colony in Dornot, and then pressed further into our lands.

Three times we fought them, and three times we were driven from the field in panic-stricken rout. Finally, in the Mentocka system, they reached too far, and were destroyed by courage and dedicated point-defense.

Here ends Chapter One of the Monkeys' Tale
(story to be continued)