[Atrocities]

You know its a sad day in your life when you open up the old file cabnet draw that houses all of your old work papers. You know the draw filled with old memo's, document, reports, statisical anylis, etc. In my case I have a draw and a half full of documentation that spans my about six and half years of my life. Quite detailed information, logs, reports, and so on for the great year of my demise, 98.

I can look back through this draw and see the life I used ot have right there before me. The detailed reports I wrote, the SOP/SOC's I authored. All of the CC mails, and inter office memos. The requests for promotion, the incident reports, hell I even have all of the monthly shift reports tucked nicely away in their own folders.

So much data, so much work, so much a part of the life I once knew and for the breifest time, enjoyed. 98 was the beginning of the end for me, and despite my best efforts at throrting diseaser, it came any ways.

Now here I am, reading all of these old memo's, reports, and the like, and slowling slip into a semi-deep state of depression over the memories long since past. Oh how I miss those days when I could come and go as needed, was paid well, enjoyed my job, and really loved working for the company. I can track my organization right up to the point that it all fell apart. I go from organized files to haphazardly organized folders filled with messy wrinckled memos and hand written documents.

I even found a report written seven years ago today. I have daily logs for every day I worked from 1997 through 1999. So I can go back and review what it was I was doing on any particular day of those years.

I cannot bring myself to the task of tossing these papers, hell I still have records from when I worked at the Big Red S almost 20 years ago. I know, I am a pack rat.

As I sit here typing this post, I realize that seven years ago today I sat in front of an old 386 PC and typed a report about down time. I do miss those days so horribly bad, but what can one do now? If you live in the past, you have no future.

So I guess I should take all of the reports, files, memo's, training manuals, SOP's/SOC's, cc mails, all of it, out to the burn pile and burn it.

I mean, what purpose does any of it have now except to depress me?