[Growltigger]

A silence descends across the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut.. a tumbleweed skitters across the bar room floor on its lonesome journey, all is quiet, all round the house, nothing is stirring, not even that bloody mouse Narf...

A rather overmuscled, heavily befang-ed nasty looking (but yet debonair and handsome) tiger pushes open the door, blissingly shortcircuiting all the ineffective forcefields and dampening fields in the hut..

He stubs out the rather large havana he has been smoking (naturally, on the nearest member of staff) and cradles the steaming one-and-only red hot poker hand cannon in his armpit. He scratches his derriere blissfully and has a look round the wrecked hut.

"Ladies, please. As you recall, PROPER cartoon violence is conducted mano et mano, eye to eye, backside to backside, legion of byzantine killer mongooses to army of ninja killer micro-shrimp, and preferably with large hand weapons and an awful lot of attitude and extreme prejudice.

What we do not do is attack each other with large fleets of spaceships in what effectively is a boasting contest a la my todger is bigger than yours. Surely it is all about a healthy mix of linguistic creativity, imagination, elan and savoir faire with a measure of sexual tension to boot....

I am here to announce that Tigg-Scoff PLC WILL NOT be considering any takeover offer for the Won Ton Hut. We will instead be reinvesting capital in the cantina, with all new look FBW's (it stands for Fluffy Bunny Waitresses by the way), theme nights, theme fights, tribble wings and a variety of amusing and interesting anecdotes for your delectation and delight. Crikey, we have even persuaded Mac to bathe for the occassion...

I trust you will be all able to join us for a cheeky half or two..

PS of course, not making a take over bid does not mean that gratuitous violence may not occur!!