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Randallw said:
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Thinnest Books in the World:
A Guide To Australian Etiquette
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and I bet you don't know we make some quite exquisite wines, you B!%^&#D. 
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Hey, the Austria-Hungarian empire was well on the way to establishing a lasting Middle Eastern peace, before the Russians decided to step in on behalf of Serbia.
Archduke Ferdinand was truely a great diplomat.
I have not been reading this thread, so this one may have been spent already:
A captain walks into a bar, with a ships wheel hanging from his belt. Barkeep says, "Hey man, did you know you have a ship's wheel about your waist?!"
The captain answers: "Aye, and its driving me nuts!"