That was well done RD; I guess I owe you one now, so I will do my best to repay you the favour at once. Debts are best not kept, as you certainly know.
"The Most Incredible Cantina, the Place where all Connoisseurs should go,
Have you ever believed your life lacked something, some sort of wildness that would allow you to reach happiness? The Cantina is one such place, and you will certainly not forget your stay within its walls. Have you been looking for an entertaining bar, far different from the mundane places you can find everywhere? The Cantina is one such place, where labels such as "boring" or "commonplace" could not be farther from the truth.
You may have been to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and found the whole spectacle to be barely worth a yawn. You will be delighted to learn the Cantina hosts the Riders of the Apocalypse, so you will have first hand knowledge of the end of the world. Where those Pangalatic drinks (whose name I have forgotten, as usual. Garglebuster I think) refreshing, but definitively lacking in taste? The brewskies of the Cantina are the finest in the whole universe, and are certainly something to write home about.
The Cantina does catter to all tastes: if you would like a more risky ride, you should figure out the following riddle, and yell the answer in the Cantina: "What is the word you obtain if you switch two letters in 'Mushromo'?" Or perhaps you should do that riddle with "Orino" instead, as the Cantina is an unpredictable place: such is its charm, as you never know what will befall on you once you get inside the Cantina.
This was barely a sample of all the pleasures the Cantina has to offer: I have made no mention yet of the remarkable display of various museum items, or the exhibition of the only sentient Puke (no guarantees are made regarding sapience, however, but it should be featured as well). And last but definitively not least, you will be attended at all times by the finest waitresses in the world, the fabled FBW!
What are you waiting for? This is a "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity of changing your life; you will never look at the universe in quite the same way after you have been in the Cantina. Give this flyer to the bartender for a free drink of your choice!"