[Growltigger]

Cue sound of Growltigga the Great, 10,000 Armoured mongeese, about 500 badgers and an assortment of highly trained woodland rodent artillerists all start singing "Why are we waiting, why are we waiting whay are we waiting for the punch up to start???"

A slow clap start across the Byzantine horde, who are happily having a picnic waiting for the Assyrian Geekat charioteer legion to lay into the jalapeno armoured frankstein-esque gherkin battalion...

Blimey, you lot are slow to kick off, when old Dogscoff was on the forums (where is he when you need him), battles always started punctually, normally with a mutated giant squid called someone Gaelic (like Niamh or Ciambhe or whatever else containing a mouthful of phlegm) ripping its way through the floor and a scream as a battalion of kung fu lobsters charged through the door... if my Byzantine legions can face that lot, Assyrian charioteers and angry dill pickles are not a problem I can assure you....

In order to kick start proceedings, Growltigga boots a football into the middle of the cantina and waits to see if the Geeskats or gherkins make a play for it, after all, even mutated weird beasties love a good game of football (sorry, soccer to all those idiots and North Americans out there)