[El_Phil]

Comma use and splitting sentences. Meh! Never been my strongest point but I will take a stab at improving it.

OK Batchs I'm using because the navy is sort of based on the Royal Navy, eg xxxx Batch 2. Purely a personal thing.

El Presidente is just when I started I had a mental image of Marks taking over a corrupt bannana dictatorship sort of place hence the title. As for him getting the job, its going to be explained over the course of the story. I know how it happened and I'm saving it up for quiet moments.

Cick doesn't have to mean kilometers. In fact the few times I've heard it used it didn't, although I suppose I should have clarified what I wanted it to mean.

The ship selection section was re-written many times and so did suffer as I really couldn't face reading it through again. There was an explanation of potential piracy but it got lost in the endless (well it felt like it) changes. I really should have scrapped it and re-written the entire section from scratch. Hey ho.

The messages from other races was troubling me as well. You are right that some of the don't fit the story, but at the time I decide to go with them. I think I may take some artistic licence with the next round of messages unless they fit the story.


Here's what I got from the review and can do something about for the next part:
1. Commas. Thrice damned comma use.
2. Check on splitting up sentences as part of the spawn of satan that is comma use.
3. Throw in a few more explanations of assumed things/game mechanic events. Such as racing onto warp points, first contacts.

If there is something else you were trying to tell me that I didn't get please clarify.