It sounds like you are using the TCP/IP option.
But if you can get connected and play a turn, I don't know what could be causing you problems.
Have you considered alternatives?
The PBW server can autohost, and email you your turns as they get processed.
If you are playing on a LAN, or have an FTP server available, you can also use my
SE4 Autohost to process the turns as the PLR files arrive.