[AgentZero]

Wash: River is a psychic? That's a little too science fiction for me.
Zoë: You live on a space ship, hun.

Wash: Oh, my God. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing? Oh, right, that would be me. Back to work.

Mal: You've only got to scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary.

River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.

Commander Harken: Seems odd you'd name your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of.
Mal: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

River: The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds, given adequate vacuuming systems.

River: My food is problematic.

Jayne: What'd y'all order a dead guy for?

River: If the snow on the roof is too heavy, you see, the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.
Book: River, please, why don't you come on out?
River: No! Can't. Too much hair.

Jayne: You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here.

Book: If you take sexual advantage of that girl, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

All of course from Firefly. I think there's also a very special level of Hell reserved for the git who cancelled this show.