Hehe the thread I pointed you to was your thread =)
Here is the maps section on the Illwinter site.
http://www.illwinter.com/dom2/maps.html. Download the maps and extract them to you dominions/map directory.
As Endo said, map setting can make a huge impact on the game. Once you are comfortable, I would play at normal richness, and hard (or higher) research. These settings can make an impact on how you design your pretender.
Once you are comfortable with the basic mechanics, I would go into the MP/AAR section, and duplicate some of the settings from those MP games. Anyone but The Winnowing (Thread title is The Winnowing) and Manifesty Destiny (Thread title New Noob Game). Reason being they were intended for MP noobs, and thus had more relaxed setttings.
Endo made a great suggestion. If you pack a ton of AI on a small map, you will be in a world of trouble. But once I had a handle on the game, try enabling one less or equal to the recommended AI's. I find this to be a relaxing setting, while still having a good variety to play with.
GL
OG