I think a lot of the reason the world went crazy over GalCiv 2 and Oblivion were the huge amount of pre-release exposure, and constant trickling of exciting details (even if they were the same ones that trickled the week before, and the week before that). Oblivion, of course, can't be compared since they had a multi-million dollar PR budget, a guy (Pete) that did nothing but fly around the world pimping the game at the offices of every magazine and website that would let him in the door, and a team dedicated to making content for previews. But Stardock is an indy company, and their constant info trickle (aka "hype") netted a massive community and incredible launch...
I don't know how much of this is luck, how much is due to the specific game, how much is due to being slashdotted or penny-arcaded, and how much is due to netting big interviews and previews with big-name magazines. But all together, they worked very well... since the world has been craving 4x-ish games recently. CivIV largely satisfied the Civ fans, GalCiv2 largely satisifed the Master of Orion fans, and now there are just the Master of Magic / Age of Wonders fans looking for a deep Fantasy TBS... especially when HOMMV has Starforce, and only a 50% chance of being good; and isn't quite in the same genre.
Maybe Dominions 3 can fill the void and become huge, with enough hype. Making one of these purported beta testers into a liason for the forum might allow limited dissemination without interrupting busy people who are doing real work. As for netting magazine interviews and previews... I don't really know the process for that, but it would be great if it happened
To quote Dijkstra: "That was back when I still believed the success of a product had some relation to its quality." (<-with regards to the IBM 360)
Good products fail without hype.