[Jurri]

Pan, lacking respect? You know nothing about that, my sylvan friend: you should note how me and my aquatically advantaged buddy have received nothing but ridicule and threats from day one! Your troubles are small compared to the bias we face in our everyday lives, and it shames the League of Whiners to see you try and hog all the sympathy with your unlicensed outcries. Wallowing in self-pity is closely regulated: the union doesn't look kindly upon such soloing as yours.

Also, your dryads could never hold a candle to an octopussy.