Battles in SE4 do not take any plodding around at all.
They sometimes take an hour of CPU grinding on the server in the closet, but that is simply your chance to go to the bathroom, make some coffee, eat dinner, or play other SE4 turns.
Strategic combat.
Simultaneous turn games.
MULTIPLAYER on PBW.
This is the way to play SE4
Tactical combat is a pretty fun minigame in itself, but is not what the game is all about.
Multiplayer is where things get really serious. You have to really refine your ship strategies and designs, and organize your fleets' movement to pull off successful pincer attacks against superior numbers and tonnage.
http://imagemodserver.mine.nu/other/...Tudran2_02.jpg
From your post, it sounds like you would really love simultaneous turn games, once you get over the design strategy screen's learning curve.