[AgentZero]

Yes. That, or....


“Home,” Alice said quietly. “It's home.”
As they watched, the structure eventually unveiled itself as a small space station. It was unfathomable that they'd stumble across something that small in such a huge nebula, and yet someone else had obviously done the same as the ship beeped an alarm.
“Contact!” Kagan called out, rushing over to the sensor station. “One ship, directly aft, coming in fast.”
“They're hailing us,” Saraea advised. “Switching to main viewer.”
“Oh, [censored],” Kagan muttered as the screen flared to life.
“O'Shea, actually,” a grinning face informed him. “How are ya, ye jamby bastard?”
“What in the name of the Nine Divine Whores of Kantarl are you doing out here?” Kagan asked.
“Getting shot at by you it would seem,” Kaelan replied dryly.
Kagan turned around in his chair. “Alice, stop shooting at the nice man,” he told her.
“Sorry,” she replied, grudgingly switching off the fire control console.
“Cheers,” O'Shea said. “Now as for how I got here, that's a very interesting story. There I was, all set to head off into the wild black yonder with a fine filly at my side. We decide to stop at a small station on the outskirts of the Fyron system to pick up a few supplies, when said filly decides that she's going to leave me for a gas miner. A gas miner! Can you believe it? A man. Who mines. Gas. Stole my woman! Well, obviously, the only thing that's going to make me feel better is a low altitude flyby of Sheol. So there I am, cruising along and I must say quite enjoying myself, when my scanners pick up a rather familiar ship. And I admit, it was a difficult choice to make, but I eventually decided I'd best be following you to make sure you didn't get into any trouble, and so, here I am.”
“Interesting,” Kagan said slowly. “Well, hurry on up and get yourself on board then.”
“Initiating docking maneuvers,” O'Shea replied. “See you in a few minutes.”
Kagan left the Daedalus's docking maneuvers in Alice's able hands and hurried down to the docking bay to greet his old friend. Just as he arrived in the bay, the ship lurched gently and there was a loud clang as hull met hull. A few moments later there was the hiss of the airlock cycling, and a few moments after that, Kaelan O'Shea stepped onto the Daedalus. Kagan greeted him with a slap on the shoulder that O'Shea returned enthusiastically. They chatted about inconsequential things for a few minutes, until they were interrupted by a clang that seemed to come from below.
“Expecting more visitors?” O'Shea asked.
“No,” Kagan replied worriedly. The two men hurried up to the bridge to find out what was going on, where they found Saraea on her back with her legs propped up in the air by a chair, struggling to right herself, and Alice seated calmly at the navigation console, hands folded on her lap.
“We've docked with the station,” Alice informed them matter of factly. “They left their main shuttle bay open.”
Kagan sighed. “I suppose you want to go aboard now?” he asked.
“Yes, please,” Alice replied, managing to sound as though there was actually any choice in the matter.
The four of them trotted down to the main cargo bay, Alice racing ahead to gleefully slap the switch that opened the door. Kagan, slightly behind her, slapped the switch to close it again, dodged her elbow, and flicked the switch that activated the external cameras. The screen above the console flared to life, and showed six dull gray battle machines standing outside the door, their ludicrously large rifles at the ready.
“Wouldn't want to run smack into them, now would you?” Kagan admonished.
“No sir, sorry sir, an older boy told me to,” Alice replied, staring at her feet. “But seriously? Robots? Who uses robots these days? It's so...” she wrinkled her nose. “Colonial.”
Kagan opened a locker beside the control console and pulled out two heavy duty handguns, loaded explosive rounds into them and tossed them to O'Shea before pulling out another two for himself.
“Right, here's the plan,” he said. “We're going to drop the gangway. As soon as it's open enough for us to fit, Kaelan and I will jump out. Kaelan takes the three on the right, I'll take the three on the left. You ladies hide around the corner to avoid any stray fire. After- what?” Kagan stopped at the look he was receiving from Alice and Saraea.
Alice raised her hand. “Hide?” she asked incredulously. “Um, certified unstoppable killing machine right here. Honestly, I have a certificate. I made it myself.”
Saraea raised her hand. “Intergalatically feared destroyer of worlds, standing right beside the certified killing machine,” she said. “Hide isn't exactly in my vocabulary. Unless it's in the context of, 'Stop hiding, I'm trying to shoot you.'”
“Yes... well... you'll just have to... I mean...” Kagan floundered, clearly distressed.
“It's a guy thing,” O'Shea interjected.
“Yes!” Kagan cried, pointing a finger at the two women. “A guy thing. A thing guys do. For guys. Done by guys. Us guys.”
“Fine,” Alice said with a shrug. Turning to Saraea, she asked, “Are you hungry? I'm starved.”
Saraea nodded. “Now that you mention it, it has been a while since I ate. Let's go find something to munch on while the guys do their guy thing.”
Kagan watched the two of them head up the stairs and into the common room before turning to O'Shea. “Ready?” he asked.
O'Shea cocked his pistols. “Let's do this thing,” he replied.
Kagan punched the switch that began lowering the gangway, and gave his friend a hard look. “Where did you learn to talk like that?” he asked. “I mean really, 'Let's do this thing'? What the hell is that?”
He was still lecturing O'Shea as the two raced up the gangway and launched themselves high into the air. Kagan twisted in mid-air, and his pistols spoke angrily. The first two exploded before they had a chance to move, the third had just enough time to swing it's rifle upwards before two explosive rounds blew apart. The gangway touched the deck a split second before Kagan and O'Shea landed in the middle of a smoking pile of scrap.
O'Shea looked back into the ship. “See, doing cool stuff like that just isn't as fun when there's no one around to see it.”
“I saw it,” Kagan pointed out. “And it was pretty damn cool.”
“You don't count,” O'Shea replied. “You don't have jiggly bits.”
“No,” Kagan said sadly. “You're right. It's not the same without the jiggly bits.”
“Ladies!” O'Shea called. “It's safe to come out now!”
Alice & Saraea appeared at the doorway to the common room, and leisurely made their way down the stairs before crossing the deck and stepping down the gangway.
“Oh, good,” Alice said dryly, still chewing. “You destroyed something. Well done. I couldn't have done that. Not me. Helpless little girl and all.”
“Yes, well, be careful,” said Kagan. “There might be more of them.”