[narf poit chez BOOM]

I thought that 'alcohal' one was hilarious - So did my Mom.

My usual copy-paste from the Baen humour forum:

Author: dave gerecke
Date: 16 Oct 2006 04:50 AM
Sub hunters
While my son Cliff was on board the Navy carrier USS GEORGE
WASHINGTON, the air wing was busy with training missions.

After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally
left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy
sounded just like Elmer Fudd."

The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that
the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the
pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We are
hunting submawenes."
--
"I know now why men who have been to war yearn to reunite. Not to
tell stories or to look at old pictures. Not to laugh or weep on one
another's knee. Comrades gather because they long to be with men who
once acted their best."
Michael Norman's 'These Good Men'.

Subject: DRIVE AROUND, PLEASE
Author: dave gerecke
Date: 16 Oct 2006 04:50 AM



One night J. D. Roberts, an agent for the Drug Enforcement Agency, was
involved in a raid on a drug house that was doing a brisk business in
marijuana sales. He and the other agents were dressed in black "battle"
fatigues with "Narcotics Agent" stenciled on them. Local uniformed
officers in marked police cruisers also took part in the raid.

Roberts and his team easily entered the house and apprehended the
suspect. Several hundred pounds of marijuana were confiscated without
incident. Within minutes the officers were collecting evidence and
finishing up at the scene.

As Roberts started out the front door, he noticed a pickup truck parked
behind one of the marked police cruisers in front of the house. Two
long-haired individuals got out of the pickup and strolled past the
police cruisers parked in the driveway, then walked up to Roberts and
his partner.

"Hey man, he still selling pot?" Roberts looked at his partner, then
back at the guy. "Yeah, he is. Just go around and knock on the back
door." "Cool." The two men nodded and walked on.

Roberts watched in amazement as the two individuals sauntered around to
the rear of the house. Roberts radioed the officers still inside the
house that they had customers at the back door.

The uniformed officers inside quickly hid while one plainclothes
detective answered the door. The new customers asked where the old
owner was, and the officer explained that the owner had stepped out but
that he could help them.

They requested a fifty-dollar bag of marijuana. The officer went to the
next room, grabbed a handful from the four hundred pounds of pot they
had just confiscated and stuffed it into a plastic bag. The two
customers were ecstatic. They thanked the officer for his generosity.

Roberts and his partner were still in the drive way, still wearing the
black battle fatigues with "Narcotics Agent" stenciled on their chests,
when the two customers headed back to their pickup, oblivious to the
uniformed officers and the two marked police cruisers in the driveway.

Finally, Roberts walked up to the two satisfied customers and arrested
them. The agents reconfiscated the dope and impounded the pickup - just
as another prospective customer pulled up.

Roberts decided this was too easy to ignore. "We moved the two cruisers
and started putting the impounded vehicles in the back. We make about
fourteen more sales and arrests that night. By the time we were
through, the backyard was filled with cars. It was the darnedest
impromptu sting I've ever seen."

Subject: Groaner
Author: dave gerecke
Date: 17 Oct 2006 05:14 AM

During rehearsal, the high school Music Director was beside himself. The
cymbal player in the band was constantly coming in at the wrong time
with his cymbal clash.

The young man maintained that his entry point gave a much better effect
and that he wouldn't play it as written.

The Music Director told him he either had to play the piece as written,
or he would be kicked off the band. The young man refused, and the
Music Director had no choice but to kick him off the band.

Late, the Music Director was asked by the Principal why he had kicked
the young musician off the band.

He replied, "It was a simple case of cymbal disobedience."