[dogscoff]

LOL! What a great thread! I wish I'd started reading it earlier:

"And now for next week's physics report:
In the western part of the galaxy, we can expect the speed of light to remain constant, but there's a fast front moving slowly towards the East, so if you're planning any interstellar travel in that area, make sure you leave soon or you might arrive back home before you left. Remember that the ratio between mass and energy will also be affected, so if you're trying to lose weight, a trip to the east of the galaxy could prove beneficial.

The wavelengths of visible light will be fluctuating in northern regions this weekend, so make sure you have your sunblock on, and absolute zero is set to drop by about 30 degrees on Sunday, so watch out for any unusual meltings.

Finally, we're expecting a galaxy- wide alteration in the value of pi, so don't be surprised if your home planet or any other cirular objects suddenly change in size."

*dogscoff hides under his desk as people throw physics textbooks at him...