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Old November 15th, 2006, 05:15 PM

FrankTrollman FrankTrollman is offline
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Default An Open Letter to Sauromatia

OK, I'm going to offer you a riddle, and an answer.

Here is the riddle: Now that your forward army is completely stranded deep in Tien Chi teritory, surrounded by armies which can crush it in the field, with no possible line of supply back to your home, how are you going to avoid having it be destroyed, along with the hopes and dreams of empire of Sauromatian children for generations to come?

For surely it can't possibly have escaped your notice that the armies to the East and West of you are capable of slaying (or at least hamstringing) gods, and your witch kings are not gods. The armies of Sauromatia cannot stand against the hammer and annvil of Tien Chi and there is no line of escape.

What may have escaped your notice, however, is the presence of a third army whose purpose was to be to bring to bare against Helheim should they retain their current stance of intractibility, but which in this case is quite likely to be repositioned merely to cut off any potential marching deeper into Tien Chi lands. Indeed, like a bird in a cage there is nowhere for Sauromatia to fly.

And so I propose instead an answer for you: like the bird in a cage you should sing.

Having been captured by your enemies of the Middle Kingdom it is only fitting that you should take this as an opportunity - to amuse them.

And here is what I would find amusing: join us. Your base treachery will be forgiven, ironically if you perform more treachery. If you turn on your allies in Arcocephale, we will allow you to escape into their lands, where we will even allow you to keep the lands that you conquer. If instead you choose to send your soldiers into Helheim, we will allow your men and your lands to stay in your hands.

We are willing to catch and release the Sauromatian army. Of course, we're also willing to serve it for dinner. If you wish to negotiate the release of your witch kings, you can email us:

ftrollma@ucsc.edu



The Great Catsby has Spoken.
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