[DrPraetorious]

"Tell me if you've heard this one." rumbles Knife Bright Insight, the iron God of the Abyssians.
Malphas wants to scream. Yes I've heard this one I'm a demon from the pits of hell! I've heard them all! Instead he says, "go on, Lord."
"Three women, a blonde, a brunette and a red-head, are sitting outside the wise woman's hut since, you know, they're... whascalled... Pregnant?"
Malphas suppresses a wince. "Yes, oh Lord of the World."
"Anyway, then, the blonde one says, 'I'm going to have puppies!' Wait, did I leave a bit out?"
The assembled children of Rhuax, the council of war, laugh obligingly. Malphas manages to strangle out a chuckle. "Hysterical as ever, great one."
When the children of Rhuax decided to smelt themselves a new God, a great one-eyed thing of pure steel, they determined that the future ruler of the whole world should have a sense of humor.
"So, are we invading Sauromatia yet?"
Malphas sighs. "No, oh great one. The armies of Ulm have invaded us from the east. We're withdrawing until that invasion is repulsed."
"Oh." says the iron titan, disappointed. "How many Ulmites does it take to hammer a peg into a wall?"
"Three divisions of about 350 warriors each, plus an approximately equal number of reserves." Malphas replies.
The Great God pauses. "I don't get it."
"You'll get to crush over two thousand warriorss with your might and power, Lord."
He perks up considerably. "Oh, that sounds like fun."
"Yes, it will be *wondrous*," says Malphas, practically drooling over the prospect of the coming carnage. "Make another ring while I go and talk things over with the Prophet, hmm?"
The cyclops nods agreeably and turns back to his forge, where he hammers rings of earth and life power engraved, of course, with jokes.
"You wish to speak to me of the blood of innocents, in which our pure and noble God will be made to bathe?" asks the Prophet.
Malphas snorts. "If you did not need the power of blood to triumph, you would have forbid me to spread my teachings, oh Annointed One."
The prophet sneers. "Perhaps. But to corrupt my already degenerate cousins is one thing - our God, whom we have raised to restore our Glory? This is quite another."
"The power of blood will return you to your full majesty, my friend. And winged, besides."
The prophet snorts. "This may also come to pass. But I will that you stay away from the Great One."
Malphas smiles. "We will discuss it again after the coming battle?"
The prophet nods. "Yes. Our situation will be greatly clarified."
Malphas nods. "As you command, so shall it be, lord."