[dogscoff]

Imagine a MMO Space Empires...

Day 1: Install MMOSE, set up account, start playing, just to check it out. Forget to eat, shower or sleep.

Day 2: Boss phones to ask why you didn't show up for work today. Make excuse, promise to be in tomorrow. Wife reluctantly corroborates excuse, asks if you'll be coming to bed tonight.

Day 3: Kids start to compain about the smell, wife refuses to bring you any more food or caffiene.

Day 4: Boss phones in again. Make another excuse, but wife refuses to corroborate. Hang up on boss and leave phone off hook. Hallucinations from lack of sleep starting to kick in.

Day 5: Hallucinations result in some bad game decisions. Force yourself to take a short break for a 2-hour nap and to stock up on snack food, caffiene pills and cheap cola.

Day 6: Cat passes out from smell.

Day 7: Wife throws computer out of window. Lock wife and kids out of house, order new computer over the phone with next-day delivery option. Take the opportunity to get some sleep. Vivid dreams about singing, chocolate-coated phased polaron beam.

Day 8: Spend the morning bribing/ threatening/ blackmailing kids to run out and buy food, then deliver it through the cat flap. At lunchtime the new computer arrives. Re-install game, log in to account, resume playing.

Day 9: Boss phones again, you're fired. Take phone back off hook, continue playing.

Day 10: Kids now camped out on lawn with loudhailer begging Daddy to open the door. Put on headphones.

Day 11: Food runs out.

Day 14: Pass out from hunger. Wake up in hospital on a drip and catheter. Wife is at bedside. Learn that wife and paramedics used kids and catflap to gain entry to house. Race wife home and lock her out again. Secure catflap.

Day 15: Drip runs out. Refill it with remaining cola. Cat becoming desperate to escape house.

Day 17: Cat smells now starting to overpower smell of unwashed Space Empires junkie.

Day 18: Catheter bag full. Infection sets in.

Day 19: Cat dies.

Day 20: Eat cat.

Day 21: Wife & police smash door down to find your fetid corpse slumped over the computer, your neglected empire in ruins on-screen, mouse gripped in wasted hand, cat's tail protruding from mouth.

Day 22: Funeral service for cat's remains.

Day 23: Wife marries boss. Kids switch on computer and find MMOSE. Set up account, start playing, just to check it out...