Re: Large battles...
Once you've given the move order to a province with a castle, select the orders menu again and you'll see a new one: "Move and Patrol". Selecting it makes the unit move to that province and immediately be tasked with 'patrol' orders. This means that they will fight attackers with the PD on the same turn that they arrive.
I'm not sure a 'defend province' command is that big a deal... patrol basically does this and I can't see many situations where the other effects of patrolling (reduces unrest, detects stealthy troops) are actually disadvantages
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