[Growltigga]

To: The self styled anachronostic El-Supremo of the Tkachik Federation,

Thank you for your message which we naturally have disregarded and treated with the complete contempt it so rightly deserves. We can only assume that it is your advanced years and lack of suitable rheumatism cream that makes you act in such an uncivilised manner.

What sort of ludricrous pomposity makes your empire consider that we would submit anything in triplicate to you in order to seek consent or waste paper which could be more usefully employed as toilet roll.

Why would the glorious Tigga Confederation seek consent from an empire that sounds like us wretching up furballs?

In respect of your accusation that we have intruded on the Attica system, you should be aware, as is all galactic civilisation, that the Attica system is assigned to us as our ancient litter tray. If you wish to live in the catsan, you are most welcome but do not be surprised if we then leave a few Messages there. And as for 'hideous looking spawn', we are cats, we are cool, we look good doing anything.

Your 'valiant and superior naval forces' have as much chance of trouncing the glorious fleets of the Tigga Confederation as you do of winning Miss Universe.

We suggest you get a life, get some style and keep out of the cat's way

Grrrrrr

Regards

Growltigga I, the indisputable top cat of the Tigga Confederation and glorious holder of the Officer Dibble award