[Lazy_Perfectionist]

Weevil Biscuits-
The unit who carries these is infected with disease, but provides extra food to the army on the march.

Scissors of Sharpness
Armor negating, length 0, attack -2, damage 2. May cause blindness in target or wielder. (If its not possibly to randomly blind yourself, than just curse wielder)

"Don't run with those, you could put someone's eye out."

Safety Scissors
Length 0, attack +5, damage -5, stun 5, awe (0)
It's hard to believe someone's attacking you with safety scissors. It's so unbelievably sad, you just wouldn't feel right fighting back. You waste quite a bit of energy trying to keep from laughing your *** off.